Diary of the Damned
by bellgirl221b
Summary: Ten entries made during the time of the play into the diary belonging to Romeo Montague. With a slight twist at the end. Now Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**So my project in English class was to create the diary of either Romeo or Juliet and I decided to do this. It was only when my mom suggested I try my luck with it on fanfiction that I even considered it. So here, ladies and gelntelmen, is entry number one in Romeo's Diary.**

**-BG**

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If only words could bear the sorrow which is now contained within me, then perhaps I could posses some relief from the burden which is love.

This not the first day Grief has sat with me in this sycamore grove and provided for me a bittersweet company. Nay, upon reconsidering, his company is pure bitterness. But I do suppose this is my punishment for shunning those who only wish to help me. They do not seem to realize, however, that they cannot. The problem is Rosaline. Or, perhaps, had she forsaken the path of chastity, Rosaline may be my solution. Oh, how cruel is love! How cruel is Rosaline! Unbeknownst to her, she hath left me to die upon Verona's bare streets, forever deprived of her! As a beggar shall starve without food, so shall I starve without her splendor. Without Rosaline. Without the unparalleled beauty of Verona's unparalleled mistress. What gives God authority to take her, and to leave me in anguish that cannot be put into words?

I am helpless, dearest Mother. I am hopeless, dearest Father. Neither Benvolio nor Mercutio can assist me when I have sunk so low. I keep locked inside my room from morn to eve because darkness is a shroud that hides me from those I love. If I am unworthy of loving Rosaline, I am unworthy of loving any other. And while I cannot seem to bond one decent thought throughout such a perplexity of grief, I know one thing with certainty.

I shall never love again.

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**So how was that? Good, bad, almost halfway decent? I've already written everything but I'm willing to change a few things if you would prefer. So review and let me know! I know it's short I'm sorry. I'll do my best to post a new entry everyday but, you know, the holidays are right around the corner. Plus there's exams. But I'll see what i can do.**

**Please Review!**

**-BG**


	2. Chapter 2

I would that the rows in the streets would cease their song, so that I may properly grieve for my lost love. Why would one fight for an unknown cause anyhow? My family has long loathed the family of Capulet. I myself have been raised in the very hatred brought on generations before me. But how can they fight and cause such disorder in the streets? It is no surprise, therefore, that the great Prince Escalus hath issued the decree of impending death for any that cause uprising in the public from this moment forward.

This decree was caused by today's row. I myself was not present, but the evidence was clear enough. It was at the scene of the unspeakable crime whence I found Benvolio. Although regret may soon come to pass, I succumbed to his begging, and revealed to him what I have revealed to no other. He now knows the heart of my great misery. He now knows of Rosaline, the one thing it seems I cannot have. Oh sorrow! I am like some ill-fated man, roaming the barren sands of desert, whilst Rosaline holds in her sacred palm the water of life. She refuses me drink. My soul contains an impossible weight, and Benvolio cannot save me.

The man himself, however, believes otherwise. We discovered whilst talking today of a feast being held in the Capulet household. The attendance list did not intrigue me until I found the most holy of names written upon it. Benvolio wishes me to attend, so that he may show me some other beauty to grasp at my interest. There will be no other. I shall be present at the forbidden gathering this eve, but it shall be so that I might lay mine eyes upon the sacred face of my Rosaline once more.


	3. Chapter 3

The world in which I live is nothing but a veneer. Nothing I have learned, neither as schoolboy nor through the teachings of the world, can be truth. I only know that I did not love until tonight. There is no love on earth that can compare to my love for Juliet.

She stood as though a rose amongst the petty thorns of her kin at the gathering this eve. Her face is a startling jewel, brighter than any diamond. Her locks are a russet cascade in constant flow down her perfect spine. She herself, on my word, hath been crafted by the hand of some god who must certainly take more pride in this creation that any other that can exist. I spoke in the past of the sun being her equal, but no star in the heavens can dream to burn as brightly as Juliet. I was nearly certain my ears had deceived me when I spoke to her at the festivity, but she then allowed my lips to brush her own! She is a winged messenger of heaven, an angel in the night! He hand was sacred ground, and yet she allowed my own hand to lie upon it. I could not leave, even after the joyful songs of merrymaking had ceased. I hid from Benvolio and Mercutio (both of whom a accompanied me to the feast) and found myself at the balcony base of the fair Juliet. The angel spoke to me again. Oh, how her voice cleansed me of my sins! What my own poor mortal soul cannot comprehend is how the angel spoke of an undying love for me. This blessed mistress hath fallen for me, as I hath for her. It was she who will be sending me a messenger, by the hour of nine, tomorrow morn. I shall proclaim my love once more, and we must then make arrangements for marriage. I shall go to the cell of Friar Lawrence when Phoebus's chariot mounts yonder hill. I pray he shall be in the same mind for our marriage. It must be secretive. It will take preparation.

No one can know that I have fallen in love with a Capulet.

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**Ok seriously guys. I need some more reviews so I can know what everyone is thinking! Please let me know!**

**~BG~**


	4. Chapter 4

Oh, blessed morning! Not a moment of last night's darkness was wasted for me on petty sleep. My thoughts stayed only on Juliet, on waiting for dawn so that I might ask the Friar for our marriage to be made. The good friar believes that he can turn our households' rancor to pure love through this act, but I careth not of peace. I careth only of Juliet, and that her love for me might never cease, as mine, on my word, shall not.

I was once more reunited with my dear friends later on. They were injured in my attempts to evade them the previous eve, but I informed them that my business was great, and so it was. Heaven is only aware of what they imagine was my "great business", but good Mercutio's presumption can be obtained with ease through knowledge of his character. I careth not what they think. They cannot know of Juliet. Oh, what would they say? Surely good Benvolio may attempt at comprehension of my feelings. But brave Mercutio loathes the Capulet household as my father does. No, surely, they cannot be made aware.

I was thankful that they took their leave when Juliet's dear nurse came thence. I have given my proposition and consent for marriage. This afternoon, should my angel arrive at Friar Lawrence's cell with Cupid's arrow pierced though her still, we shall be wed. Oh, the few hours I must wait seem so long! But I must wait. I shall wait as long as is needed for my Juliet.

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**I am not sure when I will be able to update next, so I've posted this chapter a bit early. At worst it may be just a few days. Thank you for reading! Please review!**

**~BG~**


	5. Chapter 5

**So sorry it has been so long since I've updated! Christmas holidays, what can I say? A huge thank you to Rin Owens and alaskarox for reviewing! Your words have been taken into consideration. Here's another entry for ya!**

**~BG~**

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Oh, my dear sweet Juliet. This entry in my memoir of thoughts belongs to you and you alone.

We have been married at this point. You and I are now bonded in every method available, and there is nothing on earth that could now come to pass to make me more contented. I feel as though gravity cannot hold me down any longer! I have never belonged to anyone so entirely in my life. I am yours, my dearest Juliet. You are my own guardian angel, and I feel as though no misfortune can ever lay hand on me. And, on my word, it shall never lay a hand on you. Oh, if only Montague and Capulet were not names of two households in constant hatred of the other! Why must our families be the ones to keep us apart? I am a cold, dark winter, in desperate need of my Sun. I shall not see to the beginning of the springtime should our households continue to forbid our reuniting. Oh, if only I might never leave your side! I could truly be the lightest man on earth! No weight of any form of sorrow could hope to stake me to the soil! I would leave this world, for mine consists of only you at the moment, my sweet.

My Sun, I would you were here with me now. Until then, I shall meet you again tonight, in my dreams.

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**Want your name mentioned in the author's note next chapter?**

**Then Please Review!**

**~BG~**


	6. Chapter 6

As I spoke to Benvolio earlier, I am fortune's fool. Juliet and I have been married, and for a time I could not be made happier. I had planned to see her again this eve, so that we may be together again. But I am ashamed, and do not wish to see her hate-filled eyes turn upon me, for I have committed murder.

Mercutio and Tybalt, cousin of me dear Juliet, were at the crescendo of their row of spoken words at the moment of my arrival. I attempted at peace, but the fiery Tybalt would not be swayed. He had come for my blood. And that he got, for Mercutio was a brother to me. When I refused the offered duel, my friend took the blow instead. Now brave Mercutio is dead. And, in my blind rage, I quenched my thirst for revenge with Tybalt's life. I have shed Juliet's own blood. How can I ever face her again? I can only sit here in Friar Lawrence's cell and morn dear Mercutio's death. I am awaiting my punishment. I am awaiting the great Prince Escalus's decree. The decree of my death.

Had I one wish to be granted in my final hours, it would be to see Juliet once more.

Juliet, my deepest apologies shall never be enough to earn your forgiveness.


	7. Chapter 7

I would my punishment be death. Better to contain no life in my breast than to own a life outside the walls of Verona. Verona is where my Juliet abides. My sentence is banishment. Tomorrow, I shall be forced to leave this place, forever. I shall never again be able to see my Juliet. I would rather be decomposing in a grave.

I suppose, however, that not all of the day's events were of the unfortunate nature. Juliet loves me still. Her nurse came to my lodgings in the good friar's cell, inviting me to see Juliet later that night. I have just returned. And even throughout all this pain and sorrow, I have found peace in Juliet's arms. Truly there is no greater comfort than that given to you by the only love of your life.

Tomorrow, I leave for Mantua. Tonight, I feel only bliss as I bask in the love of my Juliet.

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I recently realized how painfully short each of these are. I do apologize. There was a word limit on my project.

And so sorry for the late update. Will do better if you review! I promise!

Thanks for reading!

~BG~


	8. Chapter 8

It has been some time since I have returned to these pages. There hath been no event worth my time to record in them. Until now.

If the one who reigns over the heavens can be this cruel, I wish not to meet him in death. Hell may be kinder.

My Juliet is dead.

My servant Balthazar hath brought me the news from Verona. She died of a broken heart. Whether she mourned for me or for her dear cousin I knoweth not. I would it be Tybalt. To be the cause of such a sacred angel's destruction would be too much for any mortal to bear. I may murder myself at this current moment. Oh, Juliet! How can you have forsaken me? Dost thou expect me to continue in the ways of the world? My world is gone, just as you are! What reason have I to continue in life? Oh sorrow! Oh the hatred I currently posses for the one who takes charge of my fate! How can such cruelty exist? Juliet! My Juliet! Oh I can feel my mind becoming mad! Alas, it has already! Nothing can drive a man's sanity away the way giving him love and tearing it from him again can.

I have purchased a prohibited poison from an apothecary mere moments ago. Tonight, I return to Verona. Should I be caught, I shall go with them gladly. My own life matters no more. My wish, however, is that I may take this poison at Juliet's side. I wanted only Juliet before. The only way to fulfill my desire now lies in Death's cold palm.

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**Please Review!**

**~BG~**


	9. Chapter 9

This shall be the last time I open these pages. When eyes shall lie upon this body of mine once more I knoweth not, nor do I knoweth who shall next read the contents of this memoir. To you, whoever you might be, I say only that my mind is no longer in its proper holding. And yet, if one is aware of their insanity, have they truly been driven mad? I know only that I was madly in love. And when the source of my insanity was stripped away, naught was left but an empty, aimless Romeo. That is my state now. My Juliet lies dead before me. I hold no more reason for life.

I arrived at the Capulet tomb long past dark in the hopes that I should see no other soul. However, County Paris, the fortunate man whom had nearly received the hand of Juliet, had come for a private mourning. I saw him not but when he leapt from the underbrush, presuming I had come to do foul deeds. In my madness I have slain him. And yet, I cannot seem to bring myself to regret it. As he requested upon the coolness of his final breath, I hath laid him by the side of Juliet. My dearest Juliet, whose eyes shall see no more light. Her beauty hath been wasted as she must now become one with the earth. The torch's shadows mock me by making her breast appear to rise and fall, as though she might wake at any moment. Oh, Juliet, when I have completed this record, I must taste your kiss once more. I shall be content then to die. Death's presence in this stifling vault is now a tangible substance. And I greet it now as I might an old friend.

If only words could bear the love which is now contained within me, then here they would be writ. Instead, I shall pour my heart and being into this simple phrase.

My dearest Juliet, I love you.

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But it's not over! One more chapter! So stay tuned!

Please Review!

~BG~


	10. Chapter 10

The friar was mistaken. No soul hath yet approached the tomb. I have many moments still until one does. I shall use these moments to mourn the death of my husband, and to record my final thoughts in his sacred memoir.

My name is Juliet Capulet.

After Romeo left for Mantua, I was informed of what was expected of me. My betrothal to County Paris would have been this morn. The good friar, however, proposed that I instead drink the contents of a vial given me. My heartbeat would cease, my consciousness flee. I would appear dead. The friar was to send a letter to Romeo, informing him of this plan. But a greater power than we could contradict hath thwarted that scheme. We were to flee this wretched town forever, but that shall never come to pass. Romeo lies now dead before me, with Paris, whom he did slay. As I read his final words to me, it has occurred that I am now just as mad. No life belonging to me now lies outside of this tomb. My sweet Romeo hath left to poison for myself to consume. Instead, his dagger must suffice.

I would I could express my love once more. My written word, however, will make do.

My dearest Romeo, I love you.

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And, tah dah! Finished! What did you think? Review and let me know your opinion please! And as soon as I get it back, I'll let you guys know my grade on this project too! Not that you care, but, you know.

Thank you to all of my readers!

Please Review!

~BG~


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